Why Your Leadership Coach Might Be Hurting You and How to Find a Gem Instead

Ever hired a leadership coach expecting to unlock your inner CEO, only to feel like you just wasted a bunch of money on vague pep talks? You’re not alone. Leadership coaching promises a lot, but not every coach delivers. Some leave you more confused than confident, and worse, stuck in the same spot you started.

Let’s cut through the BS and get real about why leadership coaches sometimes flop, how you can avoid hiring the wrong one, and what questions you should ask before handing over your hard-earned cash. This is just practical advice from me... A leadership coach :).

Three Reasons Leadership Coaches Fail to Deliver

1. They Use One-Size-Fits-All Approaches

Imagine going to a tailor and getting a suit that’s the same size as everyone else’s. Sounds ridiculous, right? Yet, many leadership coaches do exactly that. They apply cookie-cutter methods without considering your unique challenges, personality, or company culture. If you hear of the GROW method... Run!

Example:

I once heard about a coach who insisted every client use the same “power pose” technique before meetings. For some, it worked. For others, it felt awkward and forced, making them even more nervous. Leadership isn’t about mimicking a formula; it’s about finding what works for you.

2. They Focus More on Theory Than Practice

Some coaches love to talk about leadership models, theories, and buzzwords, but forget to help you apply them. You end up with a head full of concepts but no clear action plan.

Example:

A client told me their coach spent hours explaining transformational leadership, but never helped them figure out how to motivate their actual team. The result? Lots of theory, zero progress, and they failed to get themselves and their people promoted, which was the goal in the first place...

3. They Don’t Hold You Accountable

A coach’s job isn’t just to cheer you on, be your therapist or your friend, but to challenge you and keep you honest. If your coach lets you off the hook every time you miss a goal or avoid tough conversations, they’re not doing their job.

Example:

One leader shared that their coach never followed up on homework or goals. Without accountability, the coaching sessions felt like casual chats rather than a path to real change.

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How to Avoid Hiring the Wrong Leadership Coach

Look for Customized Coaching

Ask potential coaches how they tailor their approach. A good coach will want to understand your specific situation before suggesting solutions. They should be curious about your strengths, weaknesses, and goals.

Check Their Track Record

Don’t be shy about asking for references or case studies. A solid coach will have stories of clients who improved their leadership skills, boosted team morale, or achieved measurable results.

Beware of Overpromising

If a coach guarantees you’ll become a “visionary leader” in 30 days or promises overnight success, run the other way. Leadership growth takes time and effort. Coaches who promise quick fixes usually deliver disappointment. You also get what you pay for... So be mindful yall!

Questions You Should Ask Before Paying for Leadership Coaching

What’s Your Coaching Style?

Some coaches are direct and tough; others are supportive and nurturing. Knowing their style helps you decide if it fits your personality.

How Do You Measure Success?

Find out how they track progress. Do they use feedback, goal completion, or other metrics? You want a coach who can show you tangible improvements.

Can You Share Examples of Past Clients?

Real stories help you understand what to expect. Ask for examples relevant to your industry or leadership level.

What Happens If I’m Not Satisfied?

Clarify their refund or satisfaction policies. It’s okay to want some protection if the coaching doesn’t meet your expectations.

How Often Will We Meet and For How Long?

Make sure their availability matches your schedule and needs. Consistency matters in coaching.

Wrapping It Up: Finding a Leadership Coach Who Actually Helps

Leadership coaching can be a game-changer if you find the right person. Avoid the wasted money by looking for coaches who customize their approach, focus on practical results, and hold you accountable. Don’t hesitate to ask tough questions before you commit. A good coach would welcome it!

Remember, coaching is an investment in yourself and can be life-changing. Treat it like one. If your coach feels like a good fit, you’ll know it, not just because of fancy words but because you’ll see real progress and those "aha" moments begin to happen more frequently.